It’s good Friday and for the first time in a very long time I am not working the Easter weekend. I’m elated to be honest but spending it by myself sucks a little bit.

I streamed an 8am online church service and I dressed up like I would’ve dressed up for church. After belting out songs in my loft, tithing and having Pastor Andre talk about the importance of the blood of Jesus I felt grateful and inspired. Church online is is awesome but it’s not the same as the fellowship and community of my church on Sundays. I miss the roar of thousands of worshipers praising together. I sometimes stream Hillsongs worship on my tv and close my eyes when I sing. I pretend that I’m standing in church and I am singing with my friends. When the clapping at the end of the songs happen I feel a sense of community and victory. Then I open my eyes and sink back to reality and the emptiness of my apartment.

Some people love yoga, but exercise and singing is my yoga. I drift off and focus when I do these two things. If I could liken the feeling to anything it would be peace. I am most at peace when my body moves and when I sing out loud to my God.

The rest of my day was rather mundane. I read, did my laundry, changed my linen and then lo’ and behold my cat decided she would chance it and piss in the corner of my dining room. She didn’t, luckily, because I heard her and I was ready for this nonsense. I had laid paper down in the exact spot again because this was where she rebelled and let rip the other day. And it was the creepy rustling of paper that drew my attention so I stood up from the couch and yelled quickly, “What are you doing.” Her slim geriatric neck turned sharply and she stared at me almost as if she was challenging me into a game of ‘lets-see-who-blinks-first’. So I repeated myself and she meowed awkwardly and proceeded to puff up like a blow fish. With her tail pin straight in the air, she walked calmly around my table towards the door - she knew that I knew what she was doing so I let her out for some alone time.

The other day I locked her outside on the balcony for pulling the same stunt and she sat on the boundary wall and meowed sounds so morbid and depressing it triggered a Fidelity guard to contact me. “Do you know your cat is locked outside?’

Uhmmmmm…

‘Yes, I’m aware of the dysfunction on my balcony. Sorry. I’ll let her in,” I replied.