Covid-19 Lockdown: Day 5

My daily devotional this morning told me to stop reading the bible. Stop reading the bible - I mean, the devil is real.

Well, I shut the book immediately and left for work. I was slightly anxious and then sank into a funk after speaking to a lady in the complex. She claimed she was a friend of the third SA Covid-19 victim and I didn’t doubt her. She appeared quite gutted and now I know this man arrived in George on Friday and felt slightly ill. Today, he’s dead. He has a daughter and his wife is also dead. She passed away two years ago.

This short exchange made me feel so helpless about this pandemic. My day would get worse.

I came across three beggars at a robot today on my way to work and then I really drowned in a pool of helplessness. I wish I could do more for the homeless in Johannesburg and often from the interior of my expensive German car, I am overwhelmed with guilt. For living a life of comfort while there are so many people struggling to survive. The inequality in our country couldn’t be any brighter and in your face than it is right now.

Work excited me from start to finish and I really worked today. I had raised my hand to take on an extra shift yesterday and I didn’t realise that it was the late shift and not the midday shift. When the penny dropped in the middle of the day, it was too late. I had already worked half of the midday shift and had started to feel defeated. I ended up leaving work at 8h30pm, 13 hours from the time I stepped out my front door. I wrote about many things, from Pikitup warning residents to clean the lids of their bin and not to scare their employees to a bunch of goats roaming the streets of a town in Wales. An un-baaa-lievable Welsh takeover. LOL!

But from then until now, two more South Africans have died because of Covid-19. In Italy, more than 800 people died today. And in the UK more than 300 people have died. My heart is so sore.

I am exhausted and not just because I’ve worked almost the entire day. I am heavy and I feel like lead exists in the place where my heart once was. My chest is tight and I am overwhelmed with sadness for the families worldwide who have lost a loved one.

I gave my cat extra cuddles when I got home. Tomorrow I will begin a news detox for 24 hours.